


Won't Let Go

by KaijinKyn



Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: Gen, Hallucinations, Light Angst, Repressed Memories, Sleepiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 10:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11896152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaijinKyn/pseuds/KaijinKyn
Summary: What was real and what wasn’t? Kazuaki was two people in one, a mask so strong he’d forgotten who he used to be. His persona was one well-crafted, something he’d worked hard to achieve. It was easier to forget and pretend, after all. Most days he truly believed the lies he told himself.





	Won't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> H E Y THIS FIC WAS INSPIRED BY SOME REALLY COOL ART PLEASE LOOK AT IT AND LOVE IT  
> http://perplexingly.tumblr.com/post/164143873770/a-hitori-nageki-comic-about-not-letting-go

The streams of early-afternoon light coming through the half-closed blinds cast Kazuaki’s room into a soft yellow haze, resulting in a sight that looked like it belonged more in a dream than reality. It wasn’t like that was unusual for Kazuaki - he slept so much sometimes he had to wonder what was real and what was in his head. 

It was… Sunday, maybe. His alarm hadn’t gone off, so it couldn’t be Monday - or maybe it had, and he’d slept through it. Wouldn’t be the first time. But, no, even when he slept in on weekdays he always felt that sense of panic for oversleeping, so logically it had to be Sunday. He’d dozed through the day previous, probably. It was hard to remember.

“Mm…” Kazuaki’s room was warm, unbearably so even for his species weakness to the cold, but despite that he couldn’t muster the energy to get out of bed. His stomach felt empty and he couldn’t recall eating yesterday, so that was another thing he had to do… Getting up and eating already  _ sounded _ exhausting, though. He couldn’t begin to imagine actually doing it. He hadn’t even opened his eyes yet.

He’d been falling back asleep, turning a little in bed to make himself more comfortable when he felt the pressure of another body in the bed beside him. That was… Unusual. Had somebody come round yesterday, perhaps? But who would…?

It was a chore to open his eyes, feeling as if they were weighed down by all the hours he hadn’t slept through yet - but eventually he managed, squinting blearily down at the head of green hair tucked up next to his body. It was a familiar sight, dragging up buried memories from long ago, a familiar and yet unwelcome name lingering in the corners of his mind. He didn’t want to think about that. 

“Nageki…” The body beside his shifted slightly in response to Kazuaki’s voice, hoarse from sleep and lack of water. Nageki didn’t wake, simply cuddled closer to the warm quail. He was probably cold, yes, that was it. “You shouldn’t sleep on top of the covers, Nageki, it’s chilly. I’ve told you before you’re always welcome to wake me…” No response, as to be expected - his brother wasn’t a light sleeper, though usually his illnesses kept the mourning dove awake. Kazuaki was glad to see he was sleeping peacefully, gently rubbing at the younger’s fingers with a thumb.

What was real and what wasn’t? Kazuaki was two people in one, a mask so strong he’d forgotten who he used to be. His persona was one well-crafted, something he’d worked hard to achieve. It was easier to forget and pretend, after all. Most days he truly believed the lies he told himself.

Some things he wasn’t allowed to forget. Making the mistake of looking up from Nageki’s head, the first thing that caught sharp grey eyes that didn’t seem to belong with an appearance so gentle was the photo on his bedside table, something he now remembered he’d been looking at the night before. Green hair, a kind smile, a young face blotted out by black ink. Kazuaki didn’t want to remember. He barely thought about it when he flipped the image over, attention immediately going back to the boy beside him. 

Nageki mumbled something, his soft, sad voice a familiar noise to Kazuaki’s ears. His words were too quiet to be heard - or maybe Kazuaki just hadn’t wanted to hear them. Whatever the case, the quail shifted down in the bed, wrapping warm arms around his brother’s familiarly small, lithe body.

“I’m sorry I woke you up… Go back to sleep, Nageki.” It didn’t take long for Kazuaki to follow his own instructions, drifting back into his near-permanent state of dozing like it was second nature. The dove in his arms was as cold as a corpse, or maybe a ghost - but he could pretend. Pretend it was real, like orphan children playing house. Just for today…

When Kazuaki woke up again the room was dark and the space beside him was cold, like the boy who had been there had never existed in the first place.


End file.
